http://unitedchildrenofveterans.com/?p=1 The following poem brought back my own fears from childhood living in a home with a father who came home with severe “battle fatigue” PTSD at the end of WWII. The image of my own father, Vernon’s, anger and rage, came to me immediately, but does have healing value. We need to go back and remember and reach out as children and families who served too. My father did not get adequate treatment for his condition until later in his life, long after each of his children and spouse acquired their own symptoms of PTSD. All of us without exception believed our baggage from living in a toxic home was somehow our fault for so many years until we became aware of PTSD and begin seeking clinical treatment, including prescribed medications.
Sparkles
Sharon Perry says:
FLASHBACKS
I see that faraway thousand mile stare in your eyes
the intensity
the craziness
that lies within
I want to run
I want to hide
I’m scared for my life
in the blink of an eye
the person I know is gone
filled with rage
you scream
you cry
you get angry
and at the moment I don’t know why
I don’t understand
I cannot comprehend
the tormented hell that you have been in
for I am only a child
“WHERE ARE MY GUNS!!” you scream
you cannot find them
I try not to blink an eye
so you will not suspect
I took them
to protect us all
to save your life
the relentless search continues
then you realize
I took them
you turn to me filled with this rage
that is now directed at me
the interrogation begins
to no avail
I will not give in
you’ve not broken me
I am already broken
I shut down
terrified
I want to cry
at moments I wish I would die
I can not endure another moment
in this hell
this horror that I was born into
this is my existence
this is my hell
By Danielle Reyes
copyright 2008
