healing Archives - Children and Families in Life After Trauma

April 15, 2021April 20, 2021

“Ralph ‘n Robbie Wabbit” ‘n Pal Stephen at The Farm c1960…

“Ralph ” and young Steve , Sandstone MN c1960

Sis Laura and Ralph, Sandstone MN c1960…

“Yes, and I remember you bringing dead Ralph, all flat and frozen, into the kitchen while mom and Dad started yelling at you. I went upstairs to my bed to hide,” Laura cried when I asked her about this time so long ago…

Ralph was my first, very first furry loved one. He was my first real pal. We loved hanging out in the woods with Robbie Wabbit…

But when Downtown Willie Wabbit came by, like he always did, things turned bad. “Two is company, three is a crowd,” my Uncle Harry would say at the farm…

While Robbie Wabbit played with Ralph, Downtown Willie Wabbit would always pick a fight with Robbie Wabbit. Ralph chased Downtown Willie Wabbit away, because he wanted to play with Robbie Wabbit and me…

Ralph ‘n me were pals. I didn’t have any close pals back then except for Ralph. He loved to swim in Skunk Lake near the farm, and chase after ducks in the pond…

Ralph ‘n me hiked down to the Kettle River too. Robbie Wabbit always came with us. We loved to swim in the river. Robbie Wabbit waited for us, hiding in the bushes nearby…

When we were swimming in the river near the dam, Downtown Willie Wabbit came by looking to pick a fight with Robbie Wabbit…

But Ralph saw Downtown Willie Wabbit right away. He swam to shore and chased him away. His friend Robbie Wabbit was safe again…

Ralph was like that. He was a loving and kind friend. He kept me safe too. When I was lonely and scared, he was always with me when no one else was there for me…

Ralph ‘n me had to stay in mostly when it was cold, very cold in the winter. We didn’t like the cold weather in the winter on the farm…

One night, a very cold night at the farm, I let Ralph out to go pee and poop by himself. I was scared to go out at night in the below zero weather. My mom wouldn’t let me anyway…

While calling out for Ralph to come home, I heard a big truck drive by on the highway next to the farm. I called for Ralph again and again but he never came…

I was so scared that night and couldn’t stop thinking about Ralph. I thought the worst had happened. I knew it was too cold for him to survive in the cold, ohhh… so cold cold it was back then…

The next early morning, I went looking for Ralph. I was heartbroken when I found my dear pal frozen dead next to the highway…

I knew then, it was a terrible mistake to let Ralph out the night before alone. I just knew in my heart and soul it was wrong to let him out at night in the cold…

To this day, I grieve for Ralph. I didn’t know about the Rainbow Bridge back then. I know now, though…

I can heal now. For I now know, Ralph ‘n me are still pals. He is safe and happy, waiting all this time to meet him and Robbie Wabbit on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

Ralph is still chasing Downtown Willie Wabbit away too. He keeps Robbie Wabbit safe, so we can play in Heaven together, again…

I miss Ralph, my pal, and still do. But now, we heal together, Ralph ‘n me. We’ll play again someday, when we meet again on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge…

Steve Sparks, Author, Blogger, Mental Health Advocate…and aspiring artisan.

April 14, 2021April 20, 2021

“Naturally” from The Sea…

Judy Sparks, Executive Editor and Producer, SparksAssociates Media…

Judy named this latest masterpiece, “Naturally.” She has been asking me for awhile to find the perfect draftwood treasure on our special beach in the Cove by the sea…

This piece has a natural groove all the way across the middle on the top. It has a natural notch on the bottom that lifts it up an inch or so.

Judy loves Air Plants and other things found in the Cove and other places by the sea. She lays these treasures in the groove when the spirits tell her so… Then, changes them around when she is moved by her soul.

We do this labor of love together as kindred spirits in love with each other and the sea. The stunning beauty of Little Whale Cove and the sea keeps our spirits alive while our love endures…

It is always love that keeps us whole and alive with inspiration. It is only love that keeps our hearts and souls at peace in the Cove by the sea…

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tillandsia

At the Cove by the sea…

April 3, 2021April 12, 2021

Driftwood Treasures Travel Far Out to Sea from Lands Far Away…

Very old driftwood piece finished to capture your imagination… Zoom in for close look, imagine with me…

I Just finished this Mindfulness Meditation Creations piece from Little Whale Cove. Zoom in for a closer look. It landed in my hands after the storm..

These driftwood treasures literally fly in with a tsunami like King Tides. Waves so large and winds so strong guide all things to shore. Things that reach our shore for the very first time.

If you don’t discover driftwood treasures right after the storm, they rush back out to sea. The next storm is coming again soon. With the enormous king tides during the winter months, they fly away, never to be found again…

The old driftwood pieces we find on the beach after the storm, are pretty worn, torn and old as the sea. Imagine how old. And, where it came from, so far away…

Did this piece come from an old tree branch in the mountains high above? Did it bounce and glide its way on stream down to the sea?

Did It travel the oceans for many decades, before flying in from the sea to land in my hands. Imagine with me…

But, what if it came from a sunken Pirate ship? Maybe, it crashed and sank off the coast in another time, long ago?

I think that’s it. Maybe it is. Imagine with me for a moment… Pirates from long ago…

There are 100s of sunken wooden sailing ships of old off the coast. Look at the coast on my YouTube channel and imagine with me how traders and pirates slammed into the basalt cliffs and rocks off shore…

Some of these rare treasures landed in Big Whale Cove. Sir Francis Drake, was one such famous explorer from Spain. It was the 16th Century, when he and his glorious sailing ship landed at the Cove near Depot Bay…

No doubt, Sir Francis Drake was greeted by the love and kindness of Chief Depoe of the Siletz Tribe. Imagine with me for a moment…

What is it, or something else? What do you imagine. Tell me on the CHAT button…

I continue to be inspired and moved by the journey of driftwood treasures as they fly into the Cove. After the storm, is the best time to find treasures in the Cove…

What treasures will I see next time? What will you see at your secret Cove? I can’t wait to get down to the Cove next time…

Please join me on my journey of history and discovery of unimaginable things that touch my soul. Imagine with me for a moment. Imagine again with me. Breathe…and imagine again…

Until next time, imagine worlds and treasures yet to be discovered. Yet to be seen… Imagine with me for a moment…

March 23, 2021April 12, 2021

“Simba” Showed Me Empathy…

“I can feel your soul” Steve Sparks

Empaths are highly sensitive individuals, who have a keen ability to sense what people around them are thinking and feeling. Psychologists may use the term empath to describe a person that experiences a great deal of empathy, often to the point of taking on the pain of others at their own expense.

https://www.healthline.com/health/what-is-an-empath

I only learned about empaths more recently. Simba showed me the way…

“I feel your soul,” Simba’s soul told me so. In that moment my soul felt his soul…

I think empathy is at the center of healing. It’s hard for us because we feel deeply the pain of others, and feel love too.

Do you feel my soul? If you do, then, I feel your soul too, in that moment. We are healers then, a special gift to share…

It is God speaking to us, but I really don’t know. But I do know God speaks to me…

Thank you for that…

“As long as you don’t give up nothing is over.”

March 8, 2021April 7, 2021

Driftwood Beach Art Moves My Soul…

Steve Sparks, Author, Blogger, Mental Health Advocate…and aspiring artisan. Driftwood piece with Air Plant…

Imagine! Where did this piece come from? How long was it at sea? What did it see?

The stunning Driftwood Beach Art sculpture with a gorgeous Air Plant came to me from the sea. What do you see?

I wonder how many decades, even centuries of travel at sea. Where did it journey? What did it see?

I found this beautifully sculptured driftwood piece in Little Whale Cove some weeks ago. After drying for weeks, it was cleaned up and sanded around the edges.

Judy looked at it and said, almost immediately. “Air Plant!” The cycle of life moves my soul, once again…

I see God’s power and grace in all of nature’s imagination. Just look out to sea, you’ll feel your soul and see the same as me…

Imagine again! Imagine again with me…

All the best in healing and self care for you and your loved ones, furry friends too…

Steve Sparks

Breathe…

March 5, 2021April 7, 2021

How to Leverage Difficult Behaviors by Friends, Colleagues and Loved Ones…as told by, “Sam” The Old Dog of Wisdom…

Ten Types of Difficult People

Most of us have had to deal with people who have more then some difficulty interacting with others. I know I have. So much so that my level of awareness is now firmly connected to my soul…

I know well, all too well, all 10 types of assholes who are mostly narcissistic, less than empathetic, non team players and awful leaders… Most of them never change either. Being an asshole seems to agree with their angry souls…

The good thing about difficult people is, if you know and understand them, you can actually help them. If you can’t help ’em fire them from your life and that of others in your charge. Leave them alone to heal their angry souls…

But difficult people sometimes don’t know they are difficult, mostly. Maybe sometimes if we’re lucky and patient.

Let’s see, the “tank” sort of jerks are the the worst of the lot. These difficult people are aggressive and never nice and kind sorts…

The “sniper” is a sneaky basturd. These types of folks can’t be trusted. You can count on them to plot stealthy frontal attacks when we aren’t looking… Keep your eye on these self serving fools…

The “know it all expert” really doesn’t know anything. These SOB’s pretend and lie about what they know nothing about. You can catch and release them when they finally tire of talking out of their noses…and other orfices of choice…

And, the “think they know it all expert” is even more obvious to you. These idiots don’t even plot or think. They just spew BS and stupid proclamations and machinations nonstop to keep you distracted.

The “grenade” mofo is the one who comes into the room hell bent on disrupting all things constructive and productive. Just throw these terrible assholes in the dumpster without hesitation…

Ohhh! I can’t stand the “yes” person. You know them well… Don’t you?

Worse yet, the “maybe” dude or dudette is the most frustrating to me. Nothing ever happens with these noncommittal incompetent idiots. Dispense with them on the spot…

Worse yet is the “nothing” fool. This is the shithead who just stands there unwilling to show life as most of us know it. Don’t even let them come back to the party…

My God! It gets even worse with the “no person” person. But Don’t even invite them to the Friday night dance with the gang…

Finally! The very worst of all the difficult people on the planet are the “whiners” complainers and blame gamers.

Take them by the ears and throw ’em to the curb without hesitation. These deplorables in your life will ruin your day, everyday of your life…

So, there you have it! Take heed, learn the traits, symptoms and behaviors of all these useless difficult people. Get them out of your life permanently. Get them out of your work place, especially…

Enough! I’m so tired of people who love to be difficult in my life. Aren’t you too?

“Sam”

Valentines Day with my bride…

February 14, 2021April 7, 2021

“Goober” Lover, Protector, Healer…

I fell in love with “Goober” when we first met awhile ago now. I think he liked me then too. But proving myself worthy was another thing…

Goober wouldn’t let me into his heart unless he trusted my soul. He could see right away I cared about his Mom, Jamie.

Goober feels my soul. He is my friend too… Goober knows my soul…

Goober loves Jamie from the deepest places in his heart and soul. He is Jamie’s protector. He is Jamie’s healer…

Jamie loves her furry friends, especially Goober with a watchful eye…

Jamie loves Goober with all her heart and soul too. He is aways at her side. Goober never leaves her alone, never ever…

Goober is Jamie’s ‘therapy’ furry loved one too. He helps her when she needs his warm hugs and love the most.

Goober is always at Jamie’s side. He is with her when she is happy or sad. Goober never leaves Jamie alone when she needs him the most, never ever…

When Jamie is happy, Goober laughs with her. When she is sad, he stays close to her heart, never letting her go…

When Jamie visits with her friends Goober is there. When she goes on errands, visits to her doctor, or is in the hospital, he is by her side…

Goober watches over Jamie no matter what. Goober never leaves her side, never ever.

We are all better humans for Goober’s love and kindness. We are blessed to have Jamie and Goober as friends forever…

The whole community of friends, furry friends and love ones, embrace Jamie and Goober. Both are loved by all of us. We will never forget their kindness and love for each other and for all of us…

Goober lives in the hearts and souls of all of us. He shows us all his love, kindness, empathy and compassion, each and every day.

I will soon visit Goober again. For he knows my soul… I feel his soul on this moment too…

We are friends of heart and soul, Goober and me…

Mindfulness Meditation Moments from Little Whale Cove, Oregon…

February 12, 2021April 7, 2021

Conversations with Your Inner Child Can Be Healing…

Stephen H. Sparks, age 2 1948…” I know this little future surf duude. He is my subconscious angel.” Steve Sparks

I know a little about my old pal Stephen. But mostly from the stories told when I was old enough to remember.

Stephen was born into sickness on July 6, 1946. A father who came home from war. A mother who struggled as a single mom. She was sick from growing up during the Great Depression too…

We were all proud to serve America. Navy Brats we were…

WWII was a terribly stressful time in America following WWII. Thousands of families served and suffered too…

Pain and profoundly dysfunctional family dynamics became normalized. Children inhaled the pain of war too. Lingering emotional damage was not understood back then, though…

Sickness often prevailed too. Polio struck Stephen as a 2 year old. He spent 6 weeks in the hospital, without loved ones close by to cheer…

We did not know then what we know today. We did not know how to help each other then when life was so overwhelmed with pain… Most souls survived with strong bodies and hearts.

The demons would hold the little souls hostage until much later. In those later years the haunting demons would return with emboldened rage…

Stephen survived too. But he didn’t know he was injured then. It would be decades later when the demons returned to haunt his mind…

Stephen did not know love as a child. He would not know how to love until decades later… The demons of hate steal love if you let them, you know…

Talking to my inner child… https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/inner-child-healing

I was asked not long ago by a friend, “How do you talk to your inner child?”

After many months of ‘Trauma Informed’ clinical therapy, learning how to talk to my old pal Stephen was a gift of healing for me…

Too many years growing up with no love or peace in my home. And, a series of too many traumatic events as an adult, hijacked my soul, I believe…

How did I help myself and Stephen at the same time? How did talking to my inner child help me heal?

Stephen seems to enjoy visiting me at the worst moments. I don’t want to talk about his stuff in those trying moments of despair…

Stephen keeps me awake in those moments when a warm embrace is needed the most. He triggers me to feel shame and guilt.

Sleeping doesn’t come at first when my mind is focused on Stephen. He needs someone to talk about his pain…

Sometimes I can’t talk to Stephen. So I ask him if we can talk later. With love, kindness and a hug, my old friend let’s me go to sleep.

Stephen shows up in anxious moments. He is angry in these moments. I ask him to give me space. Anger is no longer part of my soul…

Stephen is angry about his stuff. He wants me to reinforce his anger at others who hurt him.

I hug the little guy and we talk about stuff. Stephen knows he has a friend in me, a friend he never had before.

So, we hug each other and reassure each other. “It’s gonna be okay Stephen.” I always say to him with a kind smile and a warm hug.

Talking to my inner child gives me space to live in the moment. The pain of the past must end its haunting presence in everything good and joyful in the moment…

There is no joy in life when the past is breathing heavily on my back. There is no joy for the loved ones in my life when he is speaking to me, breathing down my back.

Talking to my inner child helps me to separate from him. We are friends now. He is not mad at me now, not ever again.

We are friends now, Stephen and me…

There is no peace of mind when my inner child is angry. Stephen, feels safe now. He is no longer alone with his pain without a caring soul near his side…

With a kind and warm embrace, we go separate ways. He visits me now and then as a friend. We talk and help each other as friends, Stephen and me…

We are never alone now. We have each other as friends near. We heal our souls together…

We have peace of mind now, Stephen and me…

Steve Sparks, Author, Blogger, Mental Health Advocate

Mindfulness Meditation Moments from Little Whale Cove, Oregon…

February 1, 2021April 7, 2021

Bessie Bee… “For without Bees there is no love…”

https://www.xerces.org/blog/five-ways-to-support-queen-bumble-bees-this-spring

“Once she finds a good location underground, the queen will drop her metabolic rate to conserve energy and produce an antifreeze-like chemical to withstand cold temperatures. Upon receiving cues from the environment that spring has arrived, the queen will emerge, begin anew, and the cycle repeats itself.”

*****

Bessie Bee, the early Queen Bee, stopped for a visit yesterday. The rain forced her to come in under the porch with me…

Bessie Bee told me it has been a little harder this year to get a nest going. She was kinda anxious about it, while staring at me with a puff and pout😡.

Bessie Bee was worried that her worker bees might be nervous too. “Queen Bees, like me, serve the greater good, leaders we are,” she would say proudly 😁.

Bessie Bee says, “This is a critical time of year. Queen Bees need sufficient food herself, as well as enough to nourish her first batch of developing offspring.” She would say then, “Failure is not an option, my dear!”

Bessie Bee would stay in for the night. She has a little built in heater to keep warm. “I will awake with light of sunshine in the early morn, my dear,” Bessie Bee said with a happy buzz…

“Will you meet me here again?” Bessie Bee asked, as she disappeared underneath the deck, to rest in the nest. “Of course I will,” I thought with admiration and respect…

“For without Bees there would be no love…” Bessie Bee whispered softly as she fell soundly asleep.

January 28, 2021April 7, 2021

Conversations with Simba… The early mornin’ greeting…

Every mornin’ same time….around 620am exactly, Simba kisses my nose. His little cute nose is cold and feels wet. It’s a gentle and loving nudge, so to speak.

Then, Simba starts to nudge me, in a kind way, not to make me anxious. Loud meowing and whining about stuff doesn’t work very well with me.

Simba knows. For his soul tells him so. He is kind and loving always. He makes me smile.

Simba paws at my hand and nudges me more aggressively. This is his request for a scratch and rub, maybe 20 seconds max.

Simba whispers and speaks softly in my ear. I think Simba loves me too.

Sadly, Simba lost his claws as a kitten. I can’t even imagine how awful it would be to not have toe nails…

Simba forgave me long ago for doing that.. We’ve been pals for 17 years now… I still feel guilty about it and would never do that to a kitty never again, ever…

Simba knows I love him too. We’ve been through many battles of heart and soul. He’s always with us no matter what…

Simba finally feels safe to jump out of bed after all the warm fuzzy stuff. He stands at attention and meows loudly at me. It’s that whiny ol’ pushy stuff that gets to me the most.

Simba is ready for his breakfast 630a sharp. He knows how to get me up and into the kitchen without too much delay.

The most important team effort each afternoon is the the kitty liter box. Simba demands cleanliness in his home, “no excuses,” he tells me each and every day…

Simba is really running the show in our home. He trained us up for the job long ago.

Through all of it, Simba shows his love and kindness everyday. He knows we are on this journey together as a family.

Simba lives in our hearts and souls forever… His love is truly a gift of healing indeed…