Survivors of extreme abuse can become the very best healers…It is a result of their own journey of healing…

by | Oct 26, 2013

Please support my mission of helping families who suffer from PTSD and moral injury…order my book, Reconciliation: A Son’s Story.  Click and order paperback or download Kindle version. Thank you! 

George Frink

Recovering journalist, software/network tech junkie (java, lisp, c++, SQL, etc), cook, writing those novels, blogger

Raleigh, N.C. 27605 ·          

“The overwhelming majority of victims of extreme child abuse grow up to be compassionate, loving people & never abuse anyone.”  George Frink… Facebook…

I have not emphasized enough that we survivors often become the best healers on the planet.  Although many of us live with the emotional challenges of child abuse and emotional neglect, it does not mean that we become abusers ourselves.  In fact, most of us who “survive and thrive” do quite well in the spirit of healing others while we embark on the journey of healing ourselves.

George Frink, a journalist who follows my blog, was kind enough to give me feedback this last week on one of my posts…”Child Abuse Kills a Kids Soul…PTSD: The War Within” by Ginger Kadlec.  George simply took exception to the characterization of becoming “soulless” implied in “kills a kid’s soul.”  He further stated that the “overwhelming majority of victims of extreme abuse grow up to be compassionate, loving people and never abuse anyone.”  I definitely agree and would never intentionally suggest that abuse actually kills the soul.  My research, personal experience, and in hearing so many stories over the years, shows that when given the opportunity, those who experience extreme abuse as children often become healers themselves.  In fact, what we achieve through more awareness and in conversation has the potential to empower survivors of abuse to be healers and make a difference in the lives of others…

It is a proven fact, however, that extreme child abuse causes emotional damage in young children as they observe and live with toxic conditions at home early in life and through the teenage years.  And in the context of “emotional neglect” of children living in a home with parents who suffer from PTSD, adequate treatment is critical in helping a young adult move forward to achieve a long term healthy and happy quality of life.  Otherwise, the damage hangs on and can transfer to the next generation as it often does with the symptoms of Secondary PTSD and Complex PTSD.  We also discuss treatment in the context of “moral injury” and “soul repair.”  Abuse can compromise an individual’s moral compass and consequently confuse the sense of right and wrong.  It often takes a lifetime of treatment and support to repair the damage of moral injury from experiencing traumatic events, including combat stress in the case of warriors.

I don’t believe we humans ever become “soulless” as a result of prolonged traumatic experiences or events in life.  I do believe from my own childhood and young adult experience living in a highly volatile and scary home, that the soul or the sense of right and wrong can be damaged and in need of repair.  It took me many years to get my soul back on track.  It would have taken much less time to begin my own journey of healing if there was awareness and treatment much earlier in life.  But it is never too late!  Don’t hesitate to take advantage of the latest alternative treatment strategies available that can make a huge difference in your life and in the lives of those you love…

Steve Sparks
Reconciliation: A Son’s Story

About the author

Steve Sparks is a retired information technology sales and marketing executive with over 35 years of industry experience, including a Bachelors’ in Management from St. Mary’s College. His creative outlet is as a non-fiction author, writing about his roots as a post-WWII US Navy military child growing up in the 1950s-1960s.
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