“When I discovered the “problems” in my marriage were rooted in abuse, my very first emotion was relief. I felt relief because up until that moment of clarity, I thought that I was losing my mind. My husband almost had me convinced that everything that was wrong in our marriage was my fault because I was completely inept and out of touch with reality.  I was luckier than many abused spouses. My husband was a soldier in the middle of back-to-back deployments. The last year and a half of our marriage, we were on the same continent together for less than seven months. I had plenty of time to read and learn without him interrupting my education.”

I have often stressed the importance of education and awareness to individuals and families living with PTSD in a toxic culture at home.  Both emotional and physical abuse happens at home when the symptoms of PTSD are present.  Home is where the sufferer feels the most secure in acting out, often not even knowing why.  Those who are loved the most by a person suffering from the symptoms of PTSD can become victims of abuse, and consequently take on the symptoms of PTSD themselves.  This exact scenario existing in my family while growing up.  All family members ended up with secondary PTSD  without knowing anything about the subject or why our family was so dysfunctional.  We just learned how to cope by trial and error, and it was no picnic at the beach…

Please take the time to become familiar with all references and resources on moral injury and PTSD.   Heathlyplace.com is an excellent website to bookmark and refer to often.  My own website includes a ton of links and references connected with PTSD awareness.  You can also contact me through this blog with any questions.  I am not a mental health professional, but will always try to point my readers in the right direction based on my own life experience.  Read my book and get first hand knowledge of what my family experienced for decades before we knew anything about the symptoms of PTSD.

Steve Sparks
Reconciliation: A Son’s Story