The following was sent to me in response to my recent posting, “It’s a sad day when a kid feels like home is a prison and unsafe place to be.”
I am so very sad on reading this. I felt this way about our so called
parents most of my life, especially Mother didnt care for me, and how
relieved she seemed to be when I left at 17 years old. I was so very
lonely and scared always as a teen especially when we moved from
so.cal to of all the miserable places, Tacoma Washington!! What a
terrible place it was for this southern Cal. beach kid!! I hated that
7 years of my life so much, as I became the victim of our parents
misery!!! My Big brothers were so far away; they were not there to protect
me. Children should never have to live in such a toxic enviorment as
we had to. We didnt deserve this.
I remember how it seemed to me that Dad was much more abusive of you
then Dan. Mother would step in and protect Dan. She didnt seem to care
about me as much either. Mother blamed me for Dads abuse of me.
I don’t call Mother while she has been in Hospice. I like just showing
up in person to surprise her, This is the only time in my whole life
that she has shown real love and appreciation towards me.
I was amazed and grateful when Mother asked for me on her “death bed”.
I wish the rest of our siblings would become involved in a positive
matter with this healing journey into the history of our family.
Because of Mother and Dad, I am who I am today.
Denial and resentments are dangerous for me. Denial and resentments
threaten my “emotional sobriety”, and are toxic to my recovery.
I have been so emotionally caught up in protecting my grandson from a
toxic, dangerous childhood. This disease must not continue into
another generation. I believe I am responsible to change so it will
not continue. Besides, I promised my grandson Dakotah a healthy, safe
and happy childhood as long as I live.
Your sister Laura