Life after war, a family’s denial…

by | Apr 4, 2012

From Facebook friend, Denise Dallas…

Sometimes even yoga isn’t enough: “Other times, the clouds of war descended on Marlantes’ family. He and his first wife, Gisele, a yoga teacher, divorced after 30 years.

 “It’s not just veterans who try to repress the war; families do it,” Peter says. “In my family, we just pretended things were okay and thought if we all ignored it, it would go away.”

This story and posting on Facebook by Denise Dallas really tugged on my heart and saddened me at the same time.  My book, Reconciliation: A Son’s Story, is a testimonial of “denial” under the worst circumstances from WWII, but clearly not the only story.  Our denial went on and on and on for 70 years while we distrusted our parents and siblings along with other family members, friends, and neighbors alike.  The damage of war and moral injury can hang around for generations unless the cycle of pain is broken.  Even then healing doesn’t happen over night and sometimes never does.  In my family’s case, it has helped my immediate family in a big way, including starting the healing process for me personally.  There is a long road ahead for our family, but the cycle of pain has been broken to be sure.  Instead of denial we have answers to questions and a perspective that allows us all to heal on our own terms and timeframe.  We can also make a big difference by helping others learn more about their own family circumstances affected by life after war…

Steve Sparks
Reconciliation: A Son’s Story

About the author

Steve Sparks is a retired information technology sales and marketing executive with over 35 years of industry experience, including a Bachelors’ in Management from St. Mary’s College. His creative outlet is as a non-fiction author, writing about his roots as a post-WWII US Navy military child growing up in the 1950s-1960s.
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