Gene Sharratt on December 5, 2015 at 3:05 pm
Pearl Harbor Day “Never Forget”
Pray for all souls lost to wars My father Vernon, passed away in 1998. He was 79. It took my own life experience, including following his footsteps, enlisting in the US Navy in 1963 at age 17, to...
“Steve is absolutely correct, instead of “what is wrong,” how about what happened in this child’s life that can lead to greater levels of support, connection and authentic interest in the child. A listening ear, caring heart, and genuine long-term interest a child builds needed connections, confidence, and respect for the unique and individual gifts of each child. All children need to feel secure, safe, protected and valued. These emotions build healthy childhood and adult relationships. Trusted adults are key to this success and they are found in parents, teachers, counselors and others who, daily, impact the lives of children. The legacy of any great country is found in the treatment of their children. Steve’s wise counsel provides a pathway for building a legacy of hope, opportunity and happiness for our children. His book is a “must read” for those interested in ensuring all children have the opportunity to enjoy a safe and rewarding life.”
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Author’s transitional note:
While growing up during the 1950’s and early 1960’s, I felt very lonely and scared most of the time, especially at home. Although I still live with the painful memories, my journey of healing has given me perspective. My mind is at peace and there is joy for the most part in my life in these later years. I now clearly understand that if there had been early childhood and young adult connections that were trusting, the heavy weight of emotional baggage entering the adult world at age 17, would have been much smoother…meaning a healthy growing experience and the challenges that go with maturing as an adult. My trusted mentors came into my life after joining the US Navy in 1963…sooner would have been better. As a result, denial kicked in like a strangle hold that wasn’t released until much later in life.
My goal with this chapter is to help kids, parents, teachers, and mentors come together as a closer community family without fear and with growing trust…it takes time. In the best of circumstances, parents can learn from their children who are building healthy relationships outside of the home, in school, clubs, and at play. As a community, we do this so much better in the 21stCentury, but it is still a work in progress…
Parents and Teachers Help Prevent Childhood Trauma (ACES) Quote from this website article from ACES to High News…
“When parents bring a child who’s bouncing off the walls and having nightmares to the Bayview Child Health Center in San Francisco, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris doesn’t ask: “What’s wrong with this child?” Instead, she asks, “What happened to this child?” and calculates the child’s ACE score.”
Click the book cover image for author page to order books and other stuff from Amazon…While growing up the question of “what happened to me” never came up…it was always “what was wrong with me.” This was a terrible legacy as a child to carry forward as an adult. Even in my later years I have to take a deep breath just about every day and focus on what happened vs. what is wrong. This constructive thought process saves the day…
When I was growing up in the 1950’s and early 1960’s the conversation at home and in school was “what is wrong with your child rather than what happened to this child.” Childhood trauma is not new. We still have toxic homes and neighborhoods, but parents and teachers know more in the 21st Century thanks to the CDC ACES study and testing. “The ACE Study findings suggest that certain experiences are major risk factors for the leading causes of illness and death as well as poor quality of life in the United States.”
As a child advocate and vice chair of Neighbors for Kids, a popular after-school program in Depoe Bay, Oregon, we often have to address all types of special needs of kids, including the effects of trauma. The more we know from collaboration with public school teachers and parents, we are able to pay particular attention to traumatized children and help them effectively. I know from my own traumatic childhood experience that growing up feeling alone, scared, and asking myself “what is wrong with me” or hearing “what is wrong with you” had long term damaging consequences on my ability to build self-confidence and feel connected with other kids and my adult mentors. Eventually, joining the US Navy at age 17 as a young adult saved my life. No child should suffer from emotional neglect and abuse and believe there is something wrong with them…early recognition and special attention is critical!
When you observe a child bouncing off the walls, or looking scared and lonely, please show love and compassion. As a teacher, mentor, and parent you are in a great position to help children heal from a traumatic experience by seeking more information about life at home by asking “what happened” and providing the loving care and attention all children deserve…sooner than later…