Can committing child abuse be unintentional? This discovery can help the abused heal… But the abuse is never excused or forgotten…

by | Jun 18, 2013

After a tumultuous childhood filled with abuse and neglect, Nathan C. Daniels reflects in his article published in the The Good Life on how some of the pain he experienced may not have been inflicted intentionally.

Nathan C. Daniels 

Ignorance and unintentional child abuse…. Quote from this website…

“Everyone in my family abused me, including myself. It was obvious when my father and sister were doing it… easy to see it for what it was. That’s not the case with my mother. I hate admitting this, and it’s taken me a lifetime to do so, but my mom also abused me. I know it was unintentional. She struggled with many issues of her own, so I can easily understand and forgive the mistakes… but I had to acknowledge them first.”


The big word in our conversation today regarding the subject of moral injury and PTSD is “awareness.”  I often say… “the first step in beginning the journey of healing is awareness.”  The word “ignorance” means lack of awareness.  Lack of awareness does not translate to the poor use of the word “stupidity.”  I found that once my level of awareness became much clearer about my own childhood experience and the loved ones connected to the emotional pain we live with to this day.  After research, writing, and publishing my book my level of awareness and education increased exponentially.  With the on-going work of being engaged through human connectedness, especially as a blogger and through social media technology, I discovered and learned significantly more.  Through the many books I have read and articles, including one on one discussions with mental health professionals provide me with the power of knowledge.  The book readings and speaking events, including specific forums continue to add to my keen level of awareness.  My innate human radar is fine tuned now to hear and see everything connected to moral injury and PTSD as well.  So each day my gift is to share knowledge through this blog on the latest news and events related to life after war or a traumatic life event, including child abuse…  With each day, continued discussions, readings, and feedback provide me with priceless knowledge that fuels my own journey of healing.  So this is why we survivors and others say the first step in healing is “awareness.” 

In my own personal family experience we were completely ignorant for decades before finally becoming aware of the circumstances surrounding our toxic post WWII family culture.  With each day that goes by my first thought is always, “if only we had known.”  But it is never too late to learn and discover the world around us.  My own “journey of healing” has been a blessing of awareness that has given me and loved ones near me peace of mind we have never experienced before. 

Steve Sparks
Reconciliation: A Son’s Story

About the author

Steve Sparks is a retired information technology sales and marketing executive with over 35 years of industry experience, including a Bachelors’ in Management from St. Mary’s College. His creative outlet is as a non-fiction author, writing about his roots as a post-WWII US Navy military child growing up in the 1950s-1960s.
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