https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity
“What is toxic masculinity? Toxic masculinity involves cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way. … This idea that men need to act tough and avoid showing all emotions can be harmful to their mental health and can have serious consequences for society, which is how it became known as “toxic masculinity.” Nov 25, 2020
https://goodmenproject.com/social-justice-2/bullying-and-toxic-masculinity-cmtt/
Bullying, a way of life…
Waking up in the morning as a kid was like waking up to a punch in the face. We were greeted mostly to meanness and bullying each other…
This kind of behavior never worked very well for me, or anyone else in our military family home. But, we were raised as ‘sailors’ aboard ship in the battle for our lives.
We were raised to be tough, very tough. I was never that tough, though. At least, that’s what I thought and was told. Hell, I liked to smile!
Was I weak? No, I was sick like everyone else in my family. But, sickness was not a welcome condition back then…
We were not alone as a family, I learned later. Most of the kids in my life back then were mean and tough. Getting bullied in school was a competitive game, it seemed…
My father trained boots at the San Diego Naval Training Center. He was mean and tough. He was a bully too. So, we had to be bullies to survive, I guess…
I was never a bully, though. I paid the price. Other kids were drawn to my happy face, even though inside I was hurting. I got bullied for the ‘appearance’ of weakness…
“Leave it to Beaver!”
When we finally got a TV in the mid 50s, I loved watching Wally ‘n Beaver. I so dreamed of having a family like that. It was just a dream, though…
Can society change to be kinder and gentler?
Now, in the 21st Century, we have a bunch of mean bullies in our society, and they are predominantly men. Boomers are especially conditioned to be mean and less than kind…
This meanness culture has caused too many males to believe they are too tough to experience mental health challenges. They bottle up emotional baggage and pain, then transfer it to others in angry behaviors at work and at home, especially to their families…
Toxic Masculinity
We were raised to be mean. We have to work harder to help men feel safe to learn kindness not meanness…
That takes a collaborative community effort to get men engaged in safe workgroups with men and women. I see very few men engaged in my community building work…
Why? I believe it’s because they were raised to hide, sneak, and deny talking about emotional problems. You know, no hugging, no crying, no show of weakness…
American men in younger generations are changing. I see it in my work. More men are beginning to come out of their ‘man caves’ and join women who are working hard to change our society from meanness to kindness…
Although I grew up in a culture inspired by the ‘tough exterior’ of WWII, modern men are changing. They must change to help all of us heal from far too much trauma in our lives and in communities everywhere…
If kids in the 21st Century can grow up with hugs and kindness, we would have a kinder and gentler world. I believe this deeply from my heart and soul…
If we can’t show boys how to love, they will not know love as men. A healthy mind and body is essential to the well-being of society as a whole. Men and women must change together to make this happen…
Do you agree?
Children and Families in Life After Trauma
