Are We Born With Compassion?

by | Mar 20, 2022

Legacy matters!

“Children needed to be able to separate what others might be feeling from their own internal experience.”

Beautiful sweet soul she is… Photo Slumberkins

What Is Empathy?

“Empathy is the ability to emotionally understand what other people feel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone else’s position and feeling what they must be feeling.”

Empathy needs a soul

My soul has been elusive most of my life, until these later years. It seems now to me my soul was damaged early in life from trauma. I didn’t know why or how this could be until later in life.

I believe as a kid we suffered so much trauma as family, the notion of a “soul” was something we were rewarded in Heaven, not in life. “My soul must be earned,” I thought while going to confession each Saturday.

“The priest would give me my soul during communion.” I thought this as the chip of bread, blessed by the Priest, was carefully placed on the tip of my tongue.

I thought too, that a little sip of wine during communion was the real secret to finding my soul, but alcohol was only for adults, not kids. I don’t think the adults in my life at home earned their souls either. I watched the anger and sadness each and every day hijack our souls.

Learning how others feel

So, I set out as a young man with the idea of finding my soul. “Where is my soul?” This was, and still is at times, my mindset every day.

It was me who chased thy soul. No longer is my soul elusive to me.

During my career and college experience I learned about how other people feel to be good at selling. This works when selling smartphones and black boxes.

But, how does the book learning work at home after a terrible day at the office? Your home these days, and maybe forever, can be worse than the office.


I believe trauma is at the center of life’s twists, turns, and soul searching. My ‘senior’ age “boomer” bracket is often challenged with serious trauma and sadly, cumulative old baggage over decades. It’s sort of like cleaning out a 100-year-old attic with ghosts waiting for revenge.

I’m grateful to be alive to learn and grow more dreams with my life partner. It is a gift to share here.

Faith & Hope

God comes when the skies open to me. Hope arrives as the painful baggage of traumas are expelled from my mind.

I can see clearly now as my mind becomes more open to things larger than me. I feel the flow of the wind, sea, and nature, the stars at night.

Music is more beautiful now. Hearing the words and meaning as the story of love and life comes alive makes me feel born for another chance at a life lost to trauma.

Hope is back. Love is back. Empathy returns to my soul. God visits me now.

Empathy & Soul

Learning about the words of empathy and definitions of seeing and feeling others is not empathy. Empathy is connecting spiritually with another human or living thing.

Seeing and feeling the souls of my furry loved ones and wildlife friends speaks to me so clearly now. I see and feel the soul of a white daisy in the Spring, and hummingbird wings.

The music of life is beautiful if my eyes, ears, body and mind rest in peace and harmony. I feel my soul next to me. I have true empathy for myself and others now as a gift of joy.

Mindful Living

Living in the moment is a spectacular experience of seeing the colors of life again. Hearing the words completely and succinctly in slow motion keeps me in the moment.

Seeing and hearing the soul of others and living things now with my whole being welcomes empathy into my heart. The devils of the past stay a safe distance from my mind when mindful living takes hold.

We are born with love and compassion. The trauma of life steals our souls too easily, though. Without nurturing love and kindness, mindful living is only a dream.

Steve Sparks CEO Children & Families in Life After Trauma (CFLAT)

About the author

Steve Sparks is a retired information technology sales and marketing executive with over 35 years of industry experience, including a Bachelors’ in Management from St. Mary’s College. His creative outlet is as a non-fiction author, writing about his roots as a post-WWII US Navy military child growing up in the 1950s-1960s.
View all posts by stevesparks →

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