“Even to this day with all the research, awareness, and knowledge of PTSD along with treatment strategies, most folks are still ignorant and in denial, especially family members. Consequently, we survivors must also learn the skills of thriving during our life long journey of healing. You do the best you can to engage in outreach and treatment strategies that are effective. But you must also keep in mind that we are a long way from becoming a society that is more completely intelligent and compassionate toward others who live with mental health challenges… Acceptance of others plays a big part in the process of healing. It isn’t easy but it is critical in living a healthy, happy, and productive quality of life after trauma…” Steve Sparks
Is it shame or is it more a lack of mutual empathy, honesty, credibility, trust and reliability? Don’t judge people (very safe to do as you only have to agree with yourself) …. take care of them (challenging as now you need to address your social and emotional skills)
Within government organizations such as army, police, fire brigade and ambulance; staff execute their profession mainly because of intrinsic involvement, motivation and because of community involvement. Especially within the Army, Police force, Fire services and Paramedic organizations the time has come to create an open working atmosphere and more emotional safety in the work-environment and by that creating more space for self-reflective and self critical feedback. This will also lead to more job satisfaction, more feedback and less “feet in the back.”
Having said that, the following might be the very reason to lose the shame because (your) children do feel the intra-personal difficulty parents suffering from traumatic events. Children have the intrinsic need for role models and exemplary behavior. Children appear to store the pain in their subconscious, they will suffer along becoming traumatised at the end. The intra-personal instability can result in (inter-personal) deviant behaviour with a traumatic outcome.
Suffering from traumatic events and experiences is not an exclusive personal problem. If not treated correctly “your” experience will be transferred to the next generation. When one of the parents is traumatised, children will “inhale” the parental pain and they will store it. Sons and daughters will copy the lack of self control and they will integrate the pain and powerless feelings into their system and their future life.
The challenge here is how to shape the conditions to create a safety net, or even better, a society without any shame in which a social network / safety net at micro-level surrounds traumatised persons to deploy, maintain and support a positive and healthy personal future.
Healthcare, looking after each other …. just some of the the indications for a civilised!! and developed!! society.