The following was sent to me in response to my recent posting, “It’s a sad day when a kid feels like home is a prison and unsafe place to be.”
Stephen, I am so very sad on reading this. I felt this way about our so called parents most of my life, especially Mother didnt care for me, and how relieved she seemed to be when I left at 17 years old. I was so very lonely and scared always as a teen especially when we moved from so.cal to of all the miserable places, Tacoma Washington!! What a terrible place it was for this southern Cal. beach kid!! I hated that 7 years of my life so much, as I became the victim of our parents misery!!! My Big brothers were so far away; they were not there to protect me. Children should never have to live in such a toxic enviorment as we had to. We didnt deserve this. I remember how it seemed to me that Dad was much more abusive of you then Dan. Mother would step in and protect Dan. She didnt seem to care about me as much either. Mother blamed me for Dads abuse of me. I don’t call Mother while she has been in Hospice. I like just showing up in person to surprise her, This is the only time in my whole life that she has shown real love and appreciation towards me. I was amazed and grateful when Mother asked for me on her “death bed”. I wish the rest of our siblings would become involved in a positive matter with this healing journey into the history of our family. Because of Mother and Dad, I am who I am today. Denial and resentments are dangerous for me. Denial and resentments threaten my “emotional sobriety”, and are toxic to my recovery. I have been so emotionally caught up in protecting my grandson from a toxic, dangerous childhood. This disease must not continue into another generation. I believe I am responsible to change so it will not continue. Besides, I promised my grandson Dakotah a healthy, safe and happy childhood as long as I live.