I was angry at my parents until recent years. What changed my thinking about Mom and Dad? I started doing some long overdue research for my book, “Reconciliation” – A Son’s Story. Discovering the history of my Dad’s experience in WWII was the starting point. I ordered his Naval records and started talking to my siblings and other family members. I became instantly regretful and sad that it took so long to know my parents more. I didn’t know them at all, and never took the time to learn. My life up to the point of starting research on my book was about me and my own life challenges along with immediate family and career.
I wonder how many kids do not take the time to know their parents well enough along the way? My experience suggests that it was mostly the negatives that are recalled; all the abuse and struggles, and the feeling of not being loved by Mom and Dad. Parents typically grow up in a different kind of culture and are not necessarily educated in the same way. The way parents show love and caring is often the only way they know and is not the way they feel. Your parents do love you, but often don’t know how to show it. As an example, parents of the “Great Depression” and “World War II” had huge challenges growing up and in surviving as adults, especially when spouses were sent off to fight a war and were gone for long periods or killed in action.
It is never too late to know your parents, even if they have passed away. Start now to know your parents better for it is healing and if you reconcile your past and relationships, you will find peace.
My next posting will be an excerpt my my book that relates to the research on my story and getting to know my parents better.